childlikke

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 04:38:06 GMT

i stole this from britney. but it's all soo true!

"HOW TO LOVE A GIRL: tell her you think that she's cool. tell her why you think she's so cool. smell her. talk to her in movie theaters. pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the river, she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it. hold her hand and skip. hold her hand and run. just hold her hand. pick her flowers out of other people's gardens and give them to her. tell her she looks pretty. let her pay for stuff if she wants to. introduce her to people as 'the coolest girl i know'. sit in the park and talk to her. take her to the library and playgrounds and train stations. tell her dirty jokes. tell her stupid jokes. talk about politics. write poems about her. just walk around with her. throw pebbles at her window at night, when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. take her to shows of bands she's never heard. hold her hand in the mosh pit. let her fall asleep in your arms. call her. call her back if she calls you. sing to her, no matter how bad you are. carve your names into a tree. get her mad, then kiss her. give her piggy-back rides. give her space if she needs it. push her on swings. stay up with her all night when she's sick. make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones. make her mix tapes. write her letters. when shes sad hang out with her or stay on the phone even if shes not saying anything. buy her ice cream. let her take all the photos of you she wants. look into her eyes. slow dance with her, even if the music if fast. kiss her in the rain. when you fall in love with her, tell her. "

well this was cute and all. but really, fuck getting hurt.
i put up a shield, it just happened. i didnt mean for it to come up,
but i know when to protect myself.
im just scared of so much, theres so much to loose,
everything and more.
even a friendship would be lost.
which is my everything.

i cant sleep at night.
during the day i get a sick feeling.
when i think too hard, or too far into things i go crazy.
is this how love is?
this can't be healthy for me.

remember when i said "i love you" well, i take it back. i was just a stupid kid back then.

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 01:56:35 GMT

im going to try and think back on the good and bad of '04.

+started school.

+met a lot of people.

+fell in love.

+had my first valentines date.

+made a ton of good memories.

-my car breaking down all the time and getting broken into.

+felt like i became a member in another family.

+had the best birthday ever.

+got engaged.

-not getting a summer break, and realizing i never will again. ha

-or christmas break.

-got un engaged and broke things off.

+decided to work things out.

+had the best christmas ive ever had before.

+and the best new years eve.

well here's to 2005.
this year i would like to...

graduatate school.

get my cosmetology license.

get a good paying job!

get in shape.

make people happy.

make myself happy.

and most of all, have fun.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 17:32:01 GMT

i just want to tell everyone happy holidays!
i hope everyone has a good day.
no matter what you celebrate or what you believe in.

i cant say enough how thankful i am for friends.
new and older. i love them all with everything i have.

today has been so good to me so far.
i know it's not important.. but i got everything and more than i asked for.
i really wasnt expecting that. it's never happened actually. haha.
anyone up for some crazzzzy shopping?

well i love you all. and have a wonderful day!

:)

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 06:44:07 GMT

today was amazzzzzing.
that's all i can really say.

:)

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 07:42:35 GMT

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=1709&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=10&iSubCat=20&iProductID=1709

someone should buy me this shirt for xmas.
ill love you forever, and be your bestfriend.
:)

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 03:36:38 GMT

so i looked back exactly one year ago today.
i was so incredibly happy.
not saying that im not happy today,
but jeez.. i was like off the wall bouncy happy.
hahah.

i love whitson and mel.
they're my bestfriends and all that i could ask for.
i'd be jealous, cuz their awesome.
<333

i get to see mel tomorrow!
cuz im cutting her hair,
and then hopefully hanging out with whit after school.

ps. ive been laying in bed the past few days cuz ive been sick,
someone should bring me some yummy food that i can eat.

:)

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 07:25:37 GMT

i think i might start writing in here again,
MAYBE.

fresh new start.

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 04:59:40 GMT

jesse is getting sick. :(
plus he has an infected ingrown hair..
so we're going to the dermotologist tomorrow.
i feel so bad for him.

last nights show was fun.
it was nice meeting a few new people.
and seeing some older faces.

i really would like to get away
to california for a few weeks..
too bad i cannot miss a single day of school.
i'm in so much over time.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 00:21:13 GMT

so this was a bad day.
then the best day.

no more blonde hair on top.

whit cannot take pictures. haha.

i cut jesse's hair into a fashion hawk.

♥

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 05:16:21 GMT

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

i need to travel up north.
seriously.

Fri, 28 May 2004 01:40:50 GMT

i got to see my little megan today.
her vans came in.. but mine didn't.
i'm sad.

summer is here.

i went outside today...
for the first time in a few days.
felt nice.

Wed, 26 May 2004 07:06:17 GMT

i think everything from thursday on..
has made me a little weird.

i was in surgery, what felt like forever,
but was actually only about 3 hours.

i'm so thankful for jesse.
he stayed with me the night before..
and was with me until i went into surgery.
and then was right there with me as soon as i got out.

i'm thankful for my mom and daddy.
they've taken care of me and put up with crankyness.

this is exactly how i feel.
indescribable.
awkard.
worried.

what a week.

Mon, 24 May 2004 01:09:54 GMT

i get surgery tomorrow.
:[

i would rather just call it 'cutting my leg out'

i got bitten by a scorpion or some kind of spider the other night.
but i didnt know until a few days later when i couldnt walk.
i woke up and my leg was hard and red.
i guess the venom got way deep into my leg/ and muscles.

jesse went with me everywhere.
he was there when they scalped and inch of my skin out.
[i thought i was going to rip off his arm.]
but it went too deep for them to keep going.
so i have like a whole that's about an inch deep in my thigh.
and the other one in the back of my thigh.

if they cut more than 3 inches wide im going to be so mad.
reason being.. they cant stitch it up.
they have to leave the wound open
to make sure the infection doesnt continue to spread,
soo im going to have two huge OPEN wounds.

i'm scared.

the one on the back of my thigh.
not such a good pic.. but you get the point.

ok.. enough about that.

caylnn and vera stopped by today.
they bought me a pink lay, shoeslaces haha, and the cutest boy undies change bag thingy!

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 23:08:26 GMT

i need a womens short hair cut for school tomorrow.
hdjskalghafjkdl!!@#$$
please.. someone.. anyone!

$10 for a cut and color.
and you get to hang out with me for a few hours.
it can't get much better than that!

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 22:13:02 GMT

happy easter everyone!

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 21:37:43 GMT

yesterday was family day.
jesse stayed the night at my house friday night..
then we woke up saturday and went to his grandparents house.
we ate breakfast with everyone.
we came back to my house..
he got to meet my aunt and uncle from california..
then we went and saw jersey girl.
such a cute movie.
then we went and ate dinner with his family for his little brothers birthday.
brian is 16 today. haha.

i will never forget that promise, baby.

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 06:01:56 GMT

my car got broken into today.
second time.
the stupid thing about it though is..
it was outside megans and her front door was opened,
and her whole family was in the front room.
so they saw the girl breaking into it right away.
all she got was some stupid purse i had in there..
all my cds..
and she ripped out my deck but didnt get it.
so i still have that and i can get it re-installed.
no cds though, once again.

megans moms boyfriend got in his car and followed them
for about 20 min.
he got the license plate number.
and we called the police.
they found out it was a stollen car.
and the girl left finger prints all over my window.
so they got those too.

what a day.

i can't wait for jesse to get here.
i need to see his smile so bad right now.

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 03:27:51 GMT

today was the best day of my life!
i got to wake up to jesse's gorgeous face.
we drove up to flagstaff to play in the snow.
i swear i've never laughed as hard as i did today.
i had so much fun.
we built a snowman.. our baby.
it had a over sized head.
and then jesse made it have a peepee.
we froze our lips in the snow and then kissed.
i felt like a retard cuz the snow wouldn't fall off of my lip.

jesse and i found a new birth mark of his.
heheheheh.<333

jesse: "i'm airing it out. it looks like one of
those liver spots, the ones you get from drinking."
me: "let's get an eraser, we'll erase it off. it works!"

me: "i really had a good day today, baby!"
jesse: "thanks, i will"
hahahahahhahahahahahah!
i almost wet my panties.

i wrote jesse a message in the snow.

our baby with an oversized head.

then jesse made it a boy.

eating the snow

i loveeeeee you!

my favorite picture. jesse is too cute for words.
and means the world to me.
look at his little face!@@!#$#%$#@.
oh yeah and this is his birthmark / liver spot / tumor thingy.
hahahahaha.
<3333333

WHAT A DAY!

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 12:19:15 GMT

thank you, john.
my mind was about to explode..
maybe why i woke up at 4:30.
but i'm glad you were online that early to talk to!

p.s. when you get all that real shit out of your way..
let me know.
i want to be a spy in england.
hahha.

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 23:57:52 GMT

i'm so tired of everyones bullshit.
i'm so tired of caring about people.
don't like me, i really don't fucking care!
i didn't do anything to you.
so fuck it.

i feel like i can't even hang out with my bestfriend anymore.
and that's the ONLY fucking reason i'm letting any of this get to me.

don't be a fake piece of shit.

i hate when people change for the worst.

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 06:55:47 GMT

went to the 24 house.
jesse, andrew, beau, myc and i went to fashion square.
i bought a cute jacket from hollister!

then we hung out.
went to the show.
and what an awesome show it was.
mmhmm.

have a good night everyone!

don't ever let dumb people get to you.
don't let the things they say effect you in any way.
fuck them!

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 03:35:48 GMT

i look like im going to a cult.
not to mention i look like a ghost too!
haha. oh well.. it'll be fun!

Tue, 06 Jan 2004 08:31:30 GMT

hahahaha,
i have the giggles.
i don't have any idea why.

i think it's just being around megan and andy.

we went to the store to by me a HANDY DANDY note book!
but they didn't have cute ones.
so we walked around.
and we kept loosing megan.
it was insane.

i'm so excited to start school..
everyone should grow their hair out.
cuz you know you want to be a model for me!

this entry was fuckin pointless.

new years.

Fri, 02 Jan 2004 23:03:02 GMT

new years eve was interesting.
megan was my kiss at 12oclock. haha.
but i was happy none the less.
and i took lots of pics and here's some of them.

megan and i!

megan and andy.. two of my favorite people.

toast to the new year.

hahahahha.

jonny is so funny!

morning after.
even though i was the ONLY one sober the night before,
i looked the worst in the morning!

Thu, 25 Dec 2003 07:35:18 GMT

thanks to YOU this may be the best christmas i've ever had.
you put a smile on my face, and it hasn't left.